Memo to All Dinosaurs: “Evolve or Die”

Just saw a post on Facebook and had a moment of clarity. This is what she said:

Just had one of those sad moments. Was talking to one of my old college instructors who I have been friends with since being in their class. Had a disappointing conversation with them. I was basically told I will never become a writer if I self-publish. I know the black mark some of the crap that has come out of self-publish and what it has done to authors and writers. However, I do not feel I am making a mistake and dooming myself to failure by starting that way. I hate that so many people still view Indie and self-publishing in such a negative way and have such a closed mind about it. Makes me want to get published and be successful even more now to prove them wrong!

This is what I replied:

I really hate to say it this way, but when someone old tells you that things will never change, what they’re really saying is that THEY’LL never change. Also, what they’re saying doesn’t make any sense; there are already plenty of success stories in self-publishing. “Never” is very petty word. The next time you see those dinosaurs, gently tell them, “Evolve or die.”

Call Yourself an Old School Gamer, Do You?

Today’s kids have no idea what led up to the immersive computer game experiences they take for granted these days. If it weren’t for the beta toys of my gen, they’d have none of it. The following is a rough sample of some of the earlier tech I’ve worked with before the current stuff.

Back in the early 1980s, I was big on (and committed serious paper route profits to) coin-op games like Asteroids, Zaxxon, Sinistar, Bosconian, and Galaga. I had access to a Trash-80 and PET2000 in Junior High (both with the leaderless cassette drives) and owned the TI-99/4a minus “the expansion box” (aka “the rest of the computer”). For a while I even got to play around with a Timex Sinclair. At the same time at home, I also had a 2600, store-used 5200, Intellivision, and a Colecovision (with the deluxe four-finger controllers).

While reverse engineering programs like “Eliza,” I played a lot of “SpaceWarp” and “Pyramid.” Oh, the hours spent falling into a hole and dying in the dark because you couldn’t find the vending machine in the middle of the labyrinth, drop coins into, and buy fresh batteries for your flashlight. In high school, the computer lab at school had Apple IIs and IIes (and even one IIc). By college, IBM personal computers were getting into computer labs while the Apple Amiga and amber-screen Compaqs came onto the scene.

Since then, I’ve played other people’s console games but was too busy with computer, writing, and other stuff to play many of them (“Konker’s Bad Fur Day” was one of my favorites). Computer games were more accessible and (until the most recent consoles came out) generally had better and more sophisticated game play (Diablo and Diablo II). While WOW just seems like so much of a do-nothing machine that I can’t justify committing serious time to (and I’ve tried it about four times), I’m anxiously awaiting “Diablo III” and fully intend to put life on hold long enough to get some serious demonslaying done!

(Inspired by “When the MCP Was Just A Chess Program” by Wil Wheaton)

The Hurricane Song

(sung to the tune of “Kokomo” by The Beach Boys and with full apologies)

Aruba, jamaica ooo they wanna rake ya
Bermuda, bahamas left us in pajamas
Key largo, montego maybe I will forego
Jamaica

Off the Florida Keys
There’s another hurricane
That’s why we wanna go and get away from it all

Bodies in the sand
Tropical debris slicing up your hand
We’ll be falling in streets
Dodging bullets from all the looting bands
As sand banks overflow

Aruba, jamaica ooo they wanna rake ya
Bermuda, bahamas left us in pajamas
Key largo, montego maybe I will forego

Ooo each archipelago
Storm’ll get there fast
Then it’ll take it slow
That’s why we wanna go
Away from overflow

Season’s at peak, third storm to hit this week

Continue reading “The Hurricane Song”

25 Reasons Readers Will QUIT Reading Your Story

Terribleminds is at it again. After a nice, positive-sounding list of 25 Reasons Readers Will Keep Reading Your Story, here’s a list of things to consider NOT doing if you want to keep an audience. As always, the language is a bit strong but the information is thought-provoking.

25 Reasons Readers Will QUIT Reading Your Story

Highlights:

Awkward language: when the quality and clarity of your prose fails to meet the intention of the writer. Put differently, it’s when your writing is clunky, clumsy, and the greatest sin of all, unclear. If I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me, I will put a bullet in your book’s brain and bury it out by the marigolds.

Confusing and illogical plots stop me dead. Newsflash: I need to know what’s going on. And what’s going on needs to actually make some fucking sense. I don’t want to feel like I’m machete-chopping my way through your snarled and tangled pubic thatch just to get to the good stuff.

I can feel when an author is pulling punches, when the story is the narrative equivalent of lobbing softballs. This isn’t about being edgy or hardcore, I only mean to suggest that I know when the author is treating his plot and his characters — and, by proxy, the audience — gingerly. He’s not taking any risks. No danger in plot, no conflict for the characters, no risk in the prose one writes. Go big or go the fuck home. Every book is in competition with every other book, movie, comic book, porn movie, and breakfast cereal in existence. Put your back and your heart into it, goddamnit. Stop phoning it in.

Just Who Does Google Think You Are? Find out!

Google announced new privacy policies effective March 1st, 2012 to “improve your experience across all their services.” To do this, they anticipate who you are based on what you do online. Wanna see exactly what they think?

https://www.google.com/settings/ads/onweb

If you use Google (mail, calendar, search), this should work. It pulls up the cookie that Google uses to customize search results and interprets it for you, including what you like to search for, how old you are, and your gender.

Me? It says I like Science Fiction & Fantasy Films, Internet Clients & Browsers, Computer & Video Games & Online Games, People & Society, and Shopping for Toys (pretty close!) and that I’m male (damn skippy).

However, is also thinks I’m 18-24 years old. Fooled you, Google-bot! Young at heart, I guess.

Theft Vs. Piracy: It’s All About Context

Full disclosure: I am NOT advocating theft or piracy, only contrasting the difference and what it really means to the content creators. There! Now I have a clear conscious. Okay, fine, maybe I am advocating, but only a little.

Ahem. Piracy is NOT theft.

There’s a difference. If someone steals you car, it’s gone. If someone steals a copy of your work, you still have your work, right? It’s a copy, and that copy can actually be a benefit (Wait… what?! But the government said…)

Locks keep honest people honest. If you drive past a couch on the street sitting next to some trash cans, it’s fair game. What if it was a car parked there instead of a couch? It’s all about context. A locked sliding glass door isn’t much of a real deterrent (seeing how you can get through it with a rock), but it does communicate a simple social truth: “This person isn’t sharing; it belongs to them.” Will that stop a real thief? Of course not, but it discourages the honest from considering theft.

“But I lost a sale?” Did you, now? What you should have said is “you lost a potential sale,” because that’s all it was. This is the reason marketing and advertising exists: to convince others that something you’re selling is worth buying. If someone steals something (reminder: that you didn’t lose) that they wouldn’t have bought to begin with, what did you actually lose? Nothing. What did you potentially gain? The possibility that, in the future, they may buy you stuff.

Neil Gaiman says, “You can’t look at (piracy) as a lost sale.” Artists are starting to get it (and no longer need to be content with starving); the potential benefits outweigh the negatives. In a video interview, Mr. Gaiman expressed these very notions, a reversal of his previous stance. “It’s people lending books. You can’t look at that as a lost sale. No one that wouldn’t have bought your book is not buying it… what you are doing is advertising.”

Storming the Gatekeepers. Here we come to the real issue: the gatekeepers. For decades, publishing houses and movie studios have had a lock on content creation AND distribution. If it’s helping Independent film makers and authors gain audiences and spur sales, what’s the problem? The loss of both control and exclusivity. These are huge businesses that are going under because they no longer have exclusive access to creation tools and distribution channels (or to push crap on you that you wouldn’t want to see or hear to begin with, but I digress). Computers and the Internet have changed everything, and now they have to compete with cat videos and digital books for eyeballs (and dollars). Some are changing with the times, but some are stubbornly holding out for a legislative miracle, and American consumers are getting wise to it (SOPA and PIPA, anyone?)

If it’s easy to own, it’s easier to buy. The music industry is supposed to be in shambles, but iTunes is making a fortune. When the last time you bought music at a store? How about a whole album? Major book stores are now going out of business (while small book sellers are making a comeback). The last bastion of big media, the film and television industry, sees the writing on the wall. What’s more is that they’ve done a far better job than music and literature at giving consumers what they want. Miss a movie at the theater? No problem. Buy the disc, download on demand, rent a pay-per-view, subscribe to a premium movie channel, or watch it with commercials on broadcast television. Isn’t that enough?

Prosecuting people who download free songs is like putting drug addicts in jail. This doesn’t make sense, folks. It feels like what it is, consumer bullying. Suing someone for millions of dollars for downloading 24 songs would be hilarious if it wasn’t happening (what? Do they need the money?) It’s all about context. People sharing isn’t piracy or theft; it’s advertising, free marketing from your established fans to new ones and potential sales. Even giving digital content away for a limited time can accomplish this, because everyone knows what “for a limited time only” means.

The only ones profiting from piracy prosecution are lawyers, the larval stage of politicians. Need I say more?

Don’t steal. Share. It’s all about context.

25 Reasons Readers Will Keep Reading Your Story

I’m really starting to like this guy.

A newly discovered bit of thoughtfulness over at http://terribleminds.com has unleashed not so much as a checklist but a great list of things to consider. As a writer, you like to read, don’t you? Sometimes we forget what it’s like to consume instead of create, and the following is a nice reminder.

25 Reasons Readers Will Keep Reading Your Story

A few highlights:

A good story should always be raising questions — not asking them directly, but instead forcing the reader to ask them. “Wait, what’s that weird symbol they keep seeing on the walls? What was that sound? Something’s up with that top hat-wearing fox that keeps following them, too. Where the crap are they going?” This is why too much exposition is a story-squasher: exposition provides answers and answers rob the reader. Answers must come, yes, but only at the right time — and, if the answers come before the end, it helps to raise further questions to replace those we lost. It’s a cruel game the storyteller players, like teasing a kitty-cat with a laser pointer. “Go here! Now here! Now back over here! Ha ha ha ha stupid cat you’re so adorable the way you chase an insubstantial red dot on the floor like it means something. Silly jerk.”

A great antagonist — a true villain, a genuine malefactor — is “conflict” but given a face and a name. If you need proof that a great antagonist will keep people reading, I need only mention: Hannibal Lecter.

Aww. Poor widdle kitty cat dangling from the twee bwanch! Will he fall? Will he manifest the magical gyroscope cats reportedly possess and land on his feet? Will a hawk swoop in and carry him up into the clouds? Tune in next week to find out! Behold, the power of the cliffhanger: one of the great motivations for a reader to tell his loved ones, “Yes, yes, just five more pages. I need to see what happens! No, I know, I know, it’s Grandpa’s funeral, but Jiminy Christmas it’s not like he’s got anywhere to be. LET ME KEEP READING OR IMMA BLUDGEON YOU WITH THIS BOOK.”

Good stuff!

For the Traditionally Published: Do You Hold Your Own eBook Rights?

While many authors that I deal with today are up and coming or established independent/self-publishers, what about traditionally published authors who haven’t yet but want to make the leap to ebooks? One of the things that readers cringe at is the so-called publishing cycle; ever hear that your favorite author has a book you haven’t read, but when you track it down you find it’s out-of-print and unavailable? In the digital age, nothing should ever be out-of-print, nor are there any significant print, distribution, or warehouse costs.

This is a link to an article regarding just such a question: a traditionally published author making reasonable money being offered a relative pittance by their publisher with the claim that 15% royalty on electronic delivery is the maximum they are allowed. Additionally, the author is also being told that if they don’t accept it, they will continue getting the same 5% they’ve been getting for the print sales and that the publisher technically has the rights to ALL printed material whether on dead trees or in ones and zeros (yeah, that’s sounds a bit fishy). And what if the author doesn’t like it?

… we’d much rather go forward with your blessing/involvement.

Ouch. Really? In this day and age? Compare this to all-digital publishing.

First of all, 25% royalty (in the US of A) seems to be a normal minimum, but sites like Smashwords.com offer 70% to their creators. Book costs are lower ($0.99 up to $4.99 per book seems to be reasonable, the price of a smart phone or tablet app) but sales are made up for in volume. Some publishers (such as Kindle Direct Publishing via Amazon.com) are attempting to create exclusivity by offering higher rates and perks (such as lending rights for actual money) if you don’t sell your books elsewhere.

Also, many of those contracts never considered a change in medium to a digital space. Like moving from books or comics to film and television, Kevin Smith (aka “Silent Bob” in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) may have said it best (in the actual film, no less): “When said property was optioned… you were legally obliged to secure our permission to transfer the concept to another medium. As you failed to do that… you are in breach of the original contract, ergo you find yourself in a very actionable position.”

But 15%? Sounds like someone is hoping (and praying) this author doesn’t have a clue and won’t bother to find out more.

About Kevin A. Ranson

Creator, Writer, Critic

Author of The Spooky Chronicles and the vampire thriller The Matriarch, creator/critic for MovieCrypt.com, and “ghost writer” for horror host Grim D. Reaper. Visit his author blog at ThinkingSkull.com.

“I decided early on that the thing in the closet, the critter under the bed, and the grabber beneath the stairs were all hiding in those places because *I* was scarier than all of them combined… and they were right.”

Kevin A. Ranson is the creator of MovieCrypt.com and portrays its host, Grim D. Reaper, both on the site and at fan conventions. He is a member of the Online Film Critics Society (ofcs.org) with film reviews appearing weekly on RottenTomatoes.com. His young adult paranormal mystery horror book series, The Spooky Chronicles, is carried in all major online bookstores. Kevin has recently released his first book for mature readers, The Matriarch, with the aim of becoming a new series.

Read more about Kevin A Ranson…

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