Part of my current job is to apply an online store’s tool set to conform to the kind of selling an owner wants for their store. Sadly, this often can create a severe case of unnecessary over-complication, because teaching a computer program that a mix-and-match sale item with four different SKUs can have a series of product-specific quantity discounts applied to the end total isn’t an easy task.

Whoever tried to explain how to do this to the store owner the first time may have figured out how to make it work, but creating a series of product discounts for each flavor prevents the individual flavors from being mixed and matched unless you create a series of conditions for each and every possibility… up to twenty-four! For example, you get a discount if you buy three items in any flavor, which means if you buy three strawberry-flavored items or buy three chocolate-flavored items that you get a discount. Unfortunately, the store program doesn’t understand that two strawberry and one chocolate is ALSO three items because it’s a product promotion and not a store-wide promotion.

The fix sounds complicated, but is actually very simple: don’t over-complicate it to begin with. If there is only one product with a choice of four flavors, you can use attribute editing to give each flavor a separate SKU, then create a series of product promotions for three, four, or full-case discounts. It’s simpler, it easier to set up, and you could add more flavors later without rebuilding the product from the ground up.

Is it smarter to think up an easier way to do something to get out of doing it the hard way? Nah. After all, laziness IS the “mother of invention.”

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Orignal From: Over-complication, Made Simple

Barack Obama defeated John McCain in their bids for the Presidency. Do you think Obama would have been so gracious toward his opponent had he been the one making a speech after conceding to McCain?

Please do not adjust your sets. The Democrats control the horizontal and the vertical, so please return your trays to their full upright position and smoke ’em if ya got ’em.

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Orignal From: Campaign 2008: Final Thoughts

Twas the night before Election Day, and all through the nation,
People worried about housing, economics and taxation.

The voters were all dressed in theirs blues and their reds,
While visions of prosperity danced in their heads.

On televisions and radios still churned such a clatter,
From promises and double-talk that hardly still mattered.

From uneducated children arose such a riddle:
Who plays tug-of-war with an old man in the middle?

Obama and Biden versus Palin and McCain,
With poor Uncle Sam enduring the strain.

But when tomorrow is over we’ll be in the know,
(Unless Florida screws up like eight years ago).

And after this election has faded from sight,
We’ll have ’till the next to debate who was right.

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Orignal From: Twas the Night Before Election Day…

The debt-free web company I work for (ye ol’ “day job”) moved into a brandy-new stats-of-the-art building earlier this year. While the elder managers on the top floor were initially hesitant to give us free-reign decorating privileges, the Halloween season provided the opportunity for a pod/cubicle decorating binge. I went with a skull theme (go figure):

The rotted skull under the red-bulb skull lamp on the left spews a roiling mist all over that end of the desk. Then the tombstones all have skulls, followed by (from left to right) the bobblehead skeleton on top of the phone, then the Reaper clock, the 10-skull fountain, the talking candy-dispenser skull, the voice-changing talking skull, and finally a string of 10 skulls that blink to the “Halloween” theme.

Little does management know I have no intention to take this down after Friday… tee hee!

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Orignal From: Anatomy of a Skull-Infested Cubicle

I came home Saturday afternoon from the store to find a doorknob hanger informing me that I, too, could “Vote Early for (Candidate)!” Presumptuous, yes, but not as much as the bit on the bottom that said, “Text ‘Pledge’ to XXXXX for Your Support of (Candidate).”

Ahem.

I would like to take this time to apologize to every political campaign soliciting my “pledge of support.” I currently only have one pledge in place, allegiance to the flag of the United States of America (and to the republic for which is stands; one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.) I’ve repeated this at least three times in front of a commanding officer, twice in uniform.

So, ever notice how the Pledge of Allegiance doesn’t say “with freebies and handouts for all?” Discuss.

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Orignal From: My Pledge of Support

I recently attended Universal Studios 2008 edition of Halloween Horror Nights, and the one show that I try to make a point to see each year is “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure,” a special holiday edition of their normal show. There’s still something entertaining about two time-traveling idiots who make fun of things they have no chance of understanding while looking for excuses to party, dance, and riff on air guitars.

But more to the point, this year’s election-inspired intro to the show featured candidates McCain and Obama, and as the two ripped on one another and spoofed themselves, the opportunity for an impromptu poll presented itself as the two actors tried to get cheers for themselves from the packed audience. No issues, no platforms, nothing but what clearly looked like an short old man seemingly unable to stand up straight and a lithe black man with a commanding silhouette towering over him. The cheers overwhelmingly went to the Obama look-alike, while McCain’s doppelganger drew more boos than any actual support.

With an audience that could be assumed to be half Floridian, half tourist with more than a chunk being unable to actually vote (under-aged or non-American), it certainly felt as if this was really what the campaign had come down to: appearances. With both campaigns successfully seeding distrust into the messages of the other and diluting the facts with enough questionable fiction to make an honest intellectual assessment of either man’s credentials, experience, or intent nearly impossible, all that seems to remain is the observable. As was previously indicated to Tommy Lee Jones by Will Smith in Men in Black II, has it really all come down to “old and busted” vs. “new hotness?”

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Orignal From: Tommy Lee Jones vs. Will Smith

I heard that Mr. Obama has essentially outlined his goals as “redistribution of wealth.” If memory serves me right (with apologies to “Iron Chef”), Obama believes all the money America needs is right here and we just have to get it into the hands of the people who don’t have as much (read: raise taxes, but only on “rich people.”) Then everything will be fine.

Put another way, Obama is buying votes from the masses with a promise: I’ll take money from successful people and give it to people like YOU who are not as successful. Robbing from the rich to give to the poor? The question: who’s rich and who’s poor? The answer: only your government knows for sure!

Ask yourself this question: Do you want to be rich? If the idea of writing a great novel, inventing a new product, or starting an new business with the intent of being successful (aka “well to do”) sounds good, do you want someone to take away half or more of your profits and give them to someone who didn’t think up your idea or didn’t work hard writing your book? Overtaxing “the rich” makes people reconsider where they’d like to keep their wealth or live to spend it. There are plenty of other countries in the world that “rich people” would be invited to live.

But that’s the so-called “filthy rich,” isn’t it? Small business doesn’t need to worry, right? Okay, what is a “small business?” If you work for a company that’s big enough to offer health benefits, chances are it makes more than $250,000 a year, which is Mr. Obama’s cutoff for where the secret wealth of America is hidden and must be obtained to share with everyone. So, he’ll take the money from them (kiss your raises and holiday bonuses goodbye), divide it up and give it to you… unless the company goes out of business, in which case you’ll have get another job, starts at the bottom again, or collect unemployment… you know, from the government.

Here’s a question I want someone to ask Mr. Obama: under his administration, what is considered “my fair share?” He should be able to define or outline that, right? Wine or beer? Blu-ray or DVD? Lexus or Honda? House or apartment? Paper or plastic? We ALL should get our fair and equal share, right? And if my neighbor gets something new, when do I get one, too?

Really it comes down to this. If you have “enough” money and choose to give it away to someone YOU feel could use it, that’s fine; it’s YOUR money. If the government puts a gun to your head and tells you to give it whomever they choose, that’s something else. Whether you call it a tax credit or not, welfare has never been more than a temporary solution at best.

Today’s Lesson: “Teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for a lifetime. Give a man a fish, and Barack Obama probably took it away from a successful fisherman.”

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Orignal From: Innovation vs. Redistribution

It never ceases to amaze me how many people I know don’t get this. How does the economy work?

• You put money in the bank.
• The bank loans (invests) your money to others (debtors) by charging interest.
• When payments and interests are paid, everyone makes money (banks more than you).
• If the debtors fail to make these payments, the bank loses money but still owes you, making up the difference with assets gained from other investments.

Simple, right? So what’s happening now?

• Too many debtors can’t pay back loans (a default).
• The bank may not have enough assets (at the moment) to cover everyone who has money in the bank.
• People withdraw money because they fear the bank won’t be able to cover their assets.
• Because more money is being taken out than is available to cover the debt, the bank fails and closes, causing the very situation to occur that everyone was afraid would happen.

So what is this credit crunch? Why are people afraid businesses are going to fail?

• Both people and banks are afraid to invest money to give for credit and loans.
• If the banks have no new money coming in, there’s no money to loan for purchases.
• If consumers can’t borrow money to make a purchase, they may not buy anything at all.
• If no one is borrowing or buying, there’s no way for the banks to make money or business to keep selling.

Which brings me to the point. No one wants to be the last person standing without a chair (read: “golden parachute”) when the music stops (everything closes down). So how exactly was a $700 billion… I’m sorry, $850 billion “stimulus package” suppose to fix anything?

• If banks and investors believe more money is coming in, maybe they’ll stop taking their money out.

Nope, it didn’t happen. All anyone can do is let it fail and have everyone hold onto everything they’ve already got really tight until the smoke clears, kind of like a economic hurricane. The ones with assets and cash (read: liquidity) to re-invest in what ever is left and can buy a lot of tangible stuff for really cheap prices. Then what happens next?

• It starts all over again!

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Orignal From: Weathering an Economic Hurricane

And I’m seriously leaning toward the McCain-Palin ticket. It really isn’t hard to see why, and I’m sure anyone paying attention to this bit o’ blogging who is pro-Obama will disagree, but this is pretty much what this election comes down to: Capitalism vs. Socialism.

Forget that George W. Bush off-teleprompter comes off only slightly ahead of Dan Quayle. The entire housing crisis / credit crisis / global economic meltdown really comes down to one idea: there are elected officials who believe that isn’t fair that some people get to be rich and other are stuck being poor. Worse yet, this is the platform that got them elected; vote for me and I’ll change whatever it takes to get you more, and you won’t have to lift a dimpled chad to do it.

This, by definition, is socialism: “a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole.” In simpler terms, everyone gets their fair share, the same share, and the government will tell you what that share is. Additionally, in Marxist theory, it is also “the stage following capitalism in the transition of a society to communism, characterized by the imperfect implementation of collectivist principles.” Again, in simpler terms, at the rate things are going, what we know as the “American way of life” that allows you to strive for more and “get ahead” may, by law, be prevented so that everyone else can catch up.

You’ve heard of this happening in schools already. Teaching test-taking to meet standards instead of learning how to learn? Those who can move ahead have to stay behind because it isn’t fair to “the rest.” Where is it written that everyone deserves to have as much as everyone else? Put another way, who decides what enough is, or even what a “fair share” should be?

Over the last twelve years, lawmakers required banks to create the “subprime” (read: less than prime) market that enabled families and individuals who couldn’t previously qualify to own homes to make such a purchase. In doing so, it caused housing prices to rise disproportionately because anyone could get a home, inflating the market value and creating “securities” that weren’t backed by anything real. Because of this (and the reason it was a bad idea to begin with), prices rose, income didn’t, those new home owners couldn’t afford their payments because they were strapped to begin with, and no one was left to buy new homes. Values fell and banks started collapsing because the money to repay loans stopped coming in: worthless property and defaulted loans don’t pay the bills.

Barack Obama and his entire platform of “change” is a great idea, mostly because he and politicians like him were instrumental in causing the current problem; a “change” away from this could only help. His idea of raising more money from new taxes (read: that no one can afford to pay) to give money more away to those in need (but that has no actual value) isn’t a good idea. On the other hand, John McCain warned people years ago that the government-run Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac programs that went belly up could possibly cause the very problem that America is facing says now, a fact that tells me that he a much better idea of what is going on (and hopefully a decent chance to fix it).

Here’s my plan for the next four years: tighten my belt, pay off my debts, look for capitalistic opportunities, and hope my vote for McCain can keep me out of standing in line for an Obama-endorsed, government-rationed “fair share.”

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Orignal From: 4 Weeks ‘Til Capitalism vs. Socialism Vote

Okay, before you start asking questions about what console they’re for, I’m talking about a tabletop role-playing game. Celebrating its one-year release, here’s the skinny.

October 7, 2008
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Get Your Roleplay Free

Talisman Studios is celebrating the anniversary of Suzerain, our Origins Award Nominee RPG. And we’re celebrating in style, with a couple of great bits of news for roleplay fans everywhere:

Suzerain is now free from our online shop! That’s $0.00 for the Suzerain rule book. The economy’s getting tougher and none of us has much money to play with, but from now on you won’t need any money to play with Suzerain. Enjoy the game at www.suzerain.info by clicking on the ‘Treasure’ tab at the top of the page and browsing through all our free goodies.

We’re also launching a new web application on our site, specifically for Suzerain. Click on the ‘Vault’ tab to see our new feat database, fully searchable. Suzerain characters are all about their feats, and this is a great way to have a browse through all the options, helping you build your favorite characters. In fact, we’re even developing an update to the vault that allows you to create characters right on the web site at any power level, downloading them as PDFs for your game.

And that’ll be free too.

Happy birthday to Suzerain, and to all the fans of roleplaying. Drop us a ‘hello’ in the forums when you come for your free goodies!

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Orignal From: Hey Look… Free Games!